My mumma loved Christmas and I loved my beautiful mumma. I think about her a lot and the little things that she did and said never seemed to go away.
My grandmother raised me well, always telling me to be a good girl and read Uncle Tom’s cabin and bible stories. She would read to me the story of moses. I would always wondered to myself how awful moses mother must have felt having to leave her son all alone in the bull rushes.
I wondered how my own mother felt leaving me all alone at 18 months old. I don’t think that I ever got over my mother leaving me the trauma was far too much for an 18 month old child to cope with and my grandmother told me that my mother had put me to sleep with a bottle of milk. When I woke up shortly afterward I was crying for her. I looked for her everywhere and according to my grandmother it was over 6 weeks before I finally gave up looking for my mother.
Although my grandmother was the best grandmother I could ever have I thought about my mother constantly and I was so very happy when she wrote to me.
I thought that my biological mother must have loved me to send me presents and write letters to me. I went through hell without my mother being with me but if she had stayed on St. Helena then we both would have a hell of a life with my grandfather as he was beating her along with her siblings, at least when she went abroad to work she was able to send money back to her mother which was so badly needed on St. Helena back then.
My mother stopped writing and sending gifts when I was around 13 years old and that was such a bitter blow to my grandmother. She tried to tell me that my mother had three other children and couldn’t work any more but I didn’t understand why she just didn’t write to me any more. My grandfather would say that my mother hadn’t written to me because I was so bad and she probably didn’t like me anymore.
Well what ever the reson I was heart broken that I hadn’t heard from her.
I did get to meet my mother ten years later when I was 23 years old. It was a very happy day. It was a day that I had waited 23 years for.