New Years is supposed to be a fresh start. It is supposed to be a beacon of light of hope. Things have been very positive for me lately. But, for some reason, my Mother has decided to taunt me with her other daughters on social media.
My Mother Cynthia and her daughter Tracy decided to taunt me with a letter that my grandmother had written in 1970 . That is more then 40 years ago. The simple fact that she would hold on to a letter that long is something that I still can’t fathom.
The context of the letter was rather dreary. My grandmother had written a letter to my mother who lived in England telling her how difficult I had become. My grandmother went on to say that I was lazy and that I would lie in bed staring at her thowing my clothes on the floor. She went on to say that I had refused to do several chores before I went to school in the morning.
There was actually more to it then not being dutiful. I never got enough sleep at night. I was always kept awake because my grandparents would shout at each other all through the night. This would result in me being dreadfully tired the next day.
Most mornings I would be late for school and the head teacher would punish me by canning me. I really did love my grandmother and she was all that I had, she was my every thing.
Half of me was upset over the letters that she had written. I realize that it is only one letter out of many. I know in my heart that my grandmother probably wrote letters that were positive about me. Perhaps, she wrote a lot of positive letters and my mother was a bit jealous.
This particular letter did cause me a bit of pain. I always thought that she loved me unconditionally.
She always told me that she loved me and she was always kind and gentle. She never ever abused me and always supported me. There was a very special bond between my grandmother and I that can never be destroyed.
My mother and my sister tried to cast a dark shadow over me. I have been to hell and back because my mother had left me at just eighteen months old my mother can’t hurt me any more then what she has already done. She is living with the guilt on a daily basis that she decided to abandon her child and never came back for her. Because of this guilt she decides that putting letters on social media from when I was only fourteen years old and being a typical teenager is childish and that of a low life.
Her daughter Tracy wrote on social media that my bad behaviour had contributed to my grandmothers death. How horrible is that? I expect that my mother told her to say that. What an unkind thing to say to your daughter. Is she trying to break me?
Nope, mother and Cynthia you can’t break me any more. Because of how horrible you are, I have learned to love love. You broke and destroyed me when I was just eighteen months old. That was a time when I was the most vulnerable and couldn’t fight back.
You should be trying to make it up to me not trying to destroy me. I am so happy that I don’t treat my children the way that you treat your two older children I am even happier that I not a nasty unkind person like you but then you didn’t bring me up my lovely grandmother did.
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