I recently saw a documentary on Channel 4 about large families. There was a man from the Isle of Wight who had about 19 or so children all from different women. He did however take care of them all, and they all lived under his roof. They actually made mention to the fact that each child looked out for the other respectively.
This to me is fascinating as while growing up on St. Helena I remember the sheer size of some of the families I knew. There were small families, and there were big families. My family on St. Helena was quite small. It was really just me. I had no brothers and sisters on the island. It was not until I came to England many years later that I realized I had brothers and sisters.
Many people put down large families. I have personally heard comments about family sizes being to big. I have heard people say, oh how could she possibly have another child. Well, I think they are wrong.
On St. Helena there was no real form of birth control. It was not for a long time that condoms had become introduced on St. Helena as well as birth control pills. This made for many large families, sometimes so large it would be hard to keep track. I would look at these families green with envy, or really should I say sadness. I longed for that connection, for the brothers and sisters. If only today I could pick up the phone and reach out to someone in the family that I could talk to. Someone that would listen.
Maybe, since I do not know any different, maybe those families are really not close and put up a pretense. I still want to believe that perhaps if I had siblings the things I endured may not have happened, or at the minimum would be reduce.
I grew up alone and I think it would have been nice to have the support of brothers and sisters. Perhaps if I had an older brother, he could have stopped the horrible things that happened to me. Perhaps an older sister would have been able to walk with me to school and keep the bullies away. I suppose I will never know.
On St. Helena the women did most of the work. In fact, in many ways the women were the sole providers for their families. The missing men were sometimes hard to find. The only way the women received help was if they had a large family. The daughters could help their mothers sew, weave or sell things at market. The boys could help chop up the wood or carry the heavy parcels. When there was a small family though or like me an only child, there was nothing that did not fall onto my shoulders.
The worst thing that fell onto my shoulders was the sheer lack of respect that I received in school. The head teachers would constantly call me stupid or beat me for unspecified reasons. When I look back on it, I realize how heart wrenching it was. Perhaps not having a mother at home could have been offset by having other brothers and sisters to look out for me.
My grandson will be having his Christening this Sunday and I am ever so proud. We have passed on invitations to many people. Obviously, family and friends were invited, but can you imagine? Certain members in my married family would not attend. They would make excuses, or just blatantly fill up with disrespect.
It is sad really, as family is really supposed to stick together. I suppose those with large families that are united have a very positive outlook. It is those of us, who have no brothers and sisters that long for that.