When the story about the sex abuse case on St. Helena first surfaced I responded by writing an article about my experience as a child living on St. Helena. I wrote that there was indeed domestic violence and sex abuse. I had been a recipe of both. My grandfather was a very violent man. I remember that my grandmother’s teeth had been knocked out by my grandfather and she always walked around with a black eye.
My grandmother would always tell me how lucky I was that my grandfather had cataracts and couldn’t see me very well. Although, because of his cataracts I would escape some of his beatings, he would still throw heavy objects at me. I learned that I could jump and run to escape being hit.
I also wrote about how women and young girls, including myself, were at risk from young men draging us into bushes to sexually abuse us. Women who lived deep in the country were more at risk because of the thick flex bushes. Not only that but there was a lack of street lights. To make it even worse there wasn’t anyone to report the abuse to. This made us easy prey .
The only time that the police would get involved, was if a young girl became pregnant while still attending school. Other then that the thought of going to the police would be far from our minds .
The article that I had written had somewhat upset three young men from St. Helena. It was horrid, they sent me private messages that were very rude. One of them even asked me who would even want to rape me. They had accused me of trying to make money. No amount of money will ever make up for my lost childhood and I will never be able to buy a childhood that has been destroyed.
Not only did I suffer, so did my children. They saw me at my worst. The triggers are always there. I wake up at night and wonder where I am. When I wake in the morning I put my hand out to feel where I am. I dream that my foster father is standing over me bitiing my face. No amount of money will ever take abuse like that away.
I left them a message to say that their rudeness to me had said more about them then me. A young woman named Samantha had sided with them sayiny that the young men were being truthful, well so was I samatha .
The Pedophile
Did you know that your mother had a brother,
He was indeed a sex pest, he hardly took rest.
Seriously, he would frequantly abuse me.
The stories that I could tell.
I have these dreadful triggers
They leave me quite unwell
I can still see his evil face, his hot breath on my face,
I can still remember the place.
My life became a waste,
No one to tell.
I know that they will deny,
they will say that it’s all a lie.
Will I ever be free from what he did to me?
He probably thought that it was just fun,
I know that I wasn’t the only one,
That is no consolation to me.
We are the victims,
While the paedopfile is free.
I know that some people who are reading my blog will identify some of th sex abuse that i have written about. Many of those who read this St. Helena could be in denial. Probably those who are still involved with it.
I mainly receive positive feedback but every so often someone says that I am speaking untruths. I always tell the truth and everything that I write about happened directly to me. Some of the stories I speak of have also happened to many of the other woman who grew up with me on the island.
Young men were dragging us into the bushes to essentially rape us. It was and is very wrong to drag a screaming child into the bushes. A screaming child would have given the indication that what you were doing was very wrong, but you didn’t stop, did you? You just carried on as if we meant nothing to you. You can’t use the excuse that you didn’t know any better. Because it wasn’t just you doing it, was it?
The scratches and the bruises meant nothing to you. You knew that I was very young as your sister was in my classs. The other rapist also knew that I was very young as my cousins were his nieces and one of them was also in my class. In fact, one of my cousins rescued me from you once. God only knows what you were doing to her as she was always crying when she was a small child and she now has mental health problems.
Many women from St. Helena have mental health problems as a direct result from years of sex abuse. I always worried that when you were dragging me you would damage my diary, the diary that I always carried in my pocke. The same diary that will reveal everything you did to me in time. I wrote every thing that you did in my diary. By writing it I am only getting stronger.
I supose that now you have children and grandchildren but in reality you should never have been allowed near children especially after what you did to us, you evil man. I have a feeling that I am going to reveal your name/names sooner rather then later. And I will make sure that the world knows the truth about you.