As everyone probably knows our twin grandsons live with Bob and I. The other day their new school rang up to ask me what time they can come visit our home. It is normal for the new schools to have a home visit to see how established the family is. They probably want to check for stability and if the boys are cared for.
I arranged a time for them to come by and I pondered what they would think next week when they stopped in. I wondered if they wanted to label me and my humble dwelling.
What would they write about me? Would they write that Bob and I are a mixed race couple that is slightly overweight? Would they say that the husband dominates the wife or vice versa, that the wife dominates the husband? Would they look at Mrs. Checksfield’s dress and ponder if it was a cheap one from high street? Would they look at Bob’s top and say that is a discount top from Asda?
Would they look at our furniture and judge it as cheap IKEA flat pack or elegant wood from the Victorian era. Would they think judge us and label us on our tiny little flat, or big mansion?
The world seems overtaken by labels. It seems that labels are a form of judgement, and with them certain things can be ascertained as truth. This is hardly the case.
When I was a child the home visit would have said that I came from a lovely home. My report would have stated that Dorothy is seven years old and lives with her lovely middle-aged grandfather who is blind. They live in a nice two bedroom cottage with beautiful sea views. They have chickens running around the back and a donkey walking around freely.
Her grandmother grows beautiful flowers in a garden. They are very devoted to Dorothy and her challenging behaviour . The grandfather told us that Dorothy is very bad and ill mannered.
Things are not always what they seem. For this reason and this reason alone.
For example, I was in my local bank recently and an elderly gentleman who was not very well dressed walked in. He looked rather scruffy and I had this sudden urge to give him a few pounds. But then that all changed when I overheard him ask the cashier to transfer £50,000 into another account. It made me sit and wonder do we ever get it right when we judge people. Probably not.
Labelling is a definite form of bullying.
I dislike labels.