A few weeks ago I was told by my doctor that I was suffering from depression. I told him that I don’t lie in bed all day or sit around moping however I did feel tired. I explained that I had aches and pains and was beginning to not care about life in general, mind you the life that I had I should be in a bedsit with a packet of Prozac in one hand and a bottle of alcohol on the other hand. That is what I told the psychiatrist at the last session.
Today I am feeling dreadful, Only I know how I feel. Everything feels so real.
I can see poppa standing in front of me, a coward high on cowardice.
I dislike cowards who prey on children.
I was used to poppa’s abuse.
There was never any respite from poppa’s cruelty.
I’m left with a bad memory, him always abusing me.
A child raised on cruelty and my soul crushed and my spirit shattered, my heart filled with sadness.
I long for happiness, happiness denied.
I’m not a drama queen at all, life was unbearable when I was small
It wasn’t nice watching my mumma cry,
Great big tears, running down her beautiful face.
But she still manages to sing Amazing Grace.
One day the Angels carried her away to a beautiful place,
I miss mumma but she is now safe, free from poppa’s cruelty.
I’m safe too poppa’s cruelty is now a bad memory,
Freedom is beautiful and wonderful.
These teenage rapists see me as their prized possession.
They abuse me and show aggression.
One day fly away to a place where children can be free.
Free from abuse, rape and pain.
Repeatedly raping again and again.
That is the world that I live in.
I don’t like my world,
I am God’s child.
I like being God’s child.
Help me God, I was born a girl.
Dorothy Maude 13 ½ Years