The world ended for me before I was even born,
My mother’s world ended too,
So did her mother, father, and siblings,
Shipped to the most isolated place on earth,
Yes, the world ended for me long before my birth.
Some of my ancestors were taken from Africa,
In filthy rat infested slave ships,
With pitiful eyes and trembling lips,
Lying side by side in their own excrement,
Not knowing their fate,
Forced into submission by violence and aggression,
Living in poverty and misery,
But they sang, danced passed down stories and told jokes,
I remember my folks,
Yes, the world ended for us long before we were born. by Dorothy Maude.
My friend read my post and commented that I was far too deep saying that I was dead before I was born. I sometimes wonder why I was created, surely all children deserve to have a safe environment and loving parents. I never knew them nor did I had a happy home. Although the house that I was raised in was horrendous, my grandmother was caring for me. I try to blot the sound of broken furniture and crockery out of my head but it hardly goes away. I did have a social worker throughout my adolescence, but he didn’t speak to me. It was my childhood home. I have no recollection how old I was when I moved there, I left when I was fifteen. The first placement lasted two years. I was unhappy to leave the care of the Salvation Army, it was the first time in my life I was free from mental, physical and sexual abuse. My next foster home last three days, from then onwards life, became a
downward spiral which lasted over four years. Sleeping with a depraved man who was in an incestuous relationship with his vulnerable sister, concealed pregnancy and later I was living with he foster parents from hell. The 70s really was the worst time of my entire life. The foster father physically and sexually abused me he always bit my face, while she took a delight in mentally abusing me. It was a delight meeting my husband to be he told me funny jokes and made me happy. We were married for 37 years before he walked out on me. It was strange being on my own, however, I didn’t miss him too much because I was in total denial. I have now moved forward and forgiven him because it makes me feel good. It is almost 4 years since Bob’s been gone. He is ok towards me at the moment but he was quite spiteful in the beginning. I have now met a kind, caring man who means a lot to me, it is the first time in my life I have been happy. My health is not good I can’t feel the whole of my left side, my balance is poor too. But hopefully, my health will improve, good health is everything. By Dorothy Maude .